The right side of my neck hurts like a mother fucking bitch, ughh…..Why is it the late hours of night that I feel like doing stuff. Like drawing and painting. sleeptime. Tumblr Y U SO ADDICTIVE? 0.0
Feel like my life is so controlled. Not by me but the people around me.
Feel so lost right now. wtf is going on..
Brother has hesitantly agreed to do a speech for my 21st :) He also opened up to me a little about his personal life!
So has mum, pretty sure she’s a little confused to whats going on, she doesn’t seem as excited as me! Gonna ask my uncle to do one for me on xmas night XD
My world feels like its coming together! Having something to look forward to all the time must be the key, whether it be hanging with friends, going for long runs, painting my nails.. planning events.. uni, graduation! travel! yey, LIFE!
Still looking for a place to host my 21st!
I realised today that I should make my 21st Birthday a big event. It will be something for me to look forward to and keep myself busy. I also realised that Its a once in a life time moment for myself and that I deserve to celebrate with people who love and care about me.
I feel like I’ve already missed some of my best moments by not attending a lot of the 7th from events such as not going to the 7th from class of 2008 photo and leavers dinner. My five years of college is where I truly felt the happiest in my life. No relationships, no boys, no internet, just friendship- something I’ve taken for granted. Something I will always regret.
My brother and half-sister has had a big 21st and a few of my friends have celebrated at one point a big event for themselves.
I’ve always wanted attention since I was a child, or at least wanted to feel loved. Being neglected, but that’s all in the past. Its strange how one can crave the attention but be too scared to ask for it and feeling skeptical and embarrassed of who I once was. my actions. This year has been an interesting one, finding myself and losing myself, feeling numb all the time, thought of wanting to escape the horrible world but also being happy at the same time. In this time I have found a group of people who made me feel better about life and that there is something to look forward to. Always.
So I want to celebrate it with these people. I feel excited and slightly too optimistic.
WHOHOOO MADE IT INTO 3RD YEAR Papers! hehe
Eighteen months later and I’m back to square one, except now I have good friends :)
Probably gonna celebrate my 21st Birthday single.
listen to it loud and feel good about yourself <3
Those days when you feel alone. FML